Rambo’s official slot machine, coming soon to a… | Little White Lies

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Rambo’s offi­cial slot machine, com­ing soon to a casi­no near you

17 Apr 2019

Words by Charles Bramesco

A person with short, dark, wet hair standing in heavy rain. The person has a serious, pensive expression on their face.
A person with short, dark, wet hair standing in heavy rain. The person has a serious, pensive expression on their face.
A licens­ing deal with Mil­len­ni­um Films could lead to some odd tie-ins.

Aside from the momen­tary dopamine rush of win­ning a hand of black­jack, the high­light of any trip to the casi­no is perus­ing the tie-in machines. Along with the usu­al Texas saloon-style pok­er kiosks and Las Vegas-brand­ed slots, one might find such kitschy curios as the offi­cial High­lander slot machine, or a sim­i­lar ves­tige of Hansel and Gre­tel: Witch Hunters’ one-time popularity.

Accord­ing to The Hol­ly­wood Reporter, gam­bling com­pa­ny Sky­rock­et Enter­tain­ment has acquired the rights to the Mil­len­ni­um Film col­lec­tion, which means that a bright new day is dawn­ing on the world of weird movie-adja­cent pro­mo products.

Get more Lit­tle White Lies

Millennium’s library actu­al­ly lends itself pret­ty well to this strange treat­ment; it’s not hard to imag­ine soused tourists on a stag week­end shoul­der-punch­ing each oth­er with excite­ment upon see­ing the offi­cial Ram­bo slot machine, or The Expend­ables backgam­mon, what have you.

How­ev­er, there are some less-like­ly Mil­len­ni­um titles that could nonethe­less liv­en up a local gam­bling hall. Just pic­ture it: all the fun of play­ing cards, but with the added thrill of the Nico­las Cage-led 2006 remake of The Wick­er Man! Or per­haps the X‑factor that’s been wait­ing to liv­en up euchre is the addi­tion of Olym­pus Has Fall­en logos?

Of course, none of these could hope to match the per­fect syn­er­gy of for­mat and con­tent that is the offi­cial Show­girls slot machine. That was always the ulti­mate fate of Paul Verhoeven’s satire on con­sumerism and Amer­i­can gar­ish­ness, to even­tu­al­ly become that which it par­o­died. Ash­es to ash­es, slots to slots.

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