Aside from the momentary dopamine rush of winning a hand of blackjack, the highlight of any trip to the casino is perusing the tie-in machines. Along with the usual Texas saloon-style poker kiosks and Las Vegas-branded slots, one might find such kitschy curios as the official Highlander slot machine, or a similar vestige of Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters’ one-time popularity.
According to The Hollywood Reporter, gambling company Skyrocket Entertainment has acquired the rights to the Millennium Film collection, which means that a bright new day is dawning on the world of weird movie-adjacent promo products.
Millennium’s library actually lends itself pretty well to this strange treatment; it’s not hard to imagine soused tourists on a stag weekend shoulder-punching each other with excitement upon seeing the official Rambo slot machine, or The Expendables backgammon, what have you.
However, there are some less-likely Millennium titles that could nonetheless liven up a local gambling hall. Just picture it: all the fun of playing cards, but with the added thrill of the Nicolas Cage-led 2006 remake of The Wicker Man! Or perhaps the X-factor that’s been waiting to liven up euchre is the addition of Olympus Has Fallen logos?
Of course, none of these could hope to match the perfect synergy of format and content that is the official Showgirls slot machine. That was always the ultimate fate of Paul Verhoeven’s satire on consumerism and American garishness, to eventually become that which it parodied. Ashes to ashes, slots to slots.
Published 17 Apr 2019
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