Passengers

Review by Adam Woodward @AWLies

Directed by

Morten Tyldum

Starring

Chris Pratt Jennifer Lawrence Michael Sheen

Anticipation.

Titanic in space.

Enjoyment.

Titanic in space.

In Retrospect.

Titanic in space.

Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence find love in a hopeless place in this catastrophic space romp.

Chris Pratt is in space. On board a massive spaceship in space. Only his sleep pod has opened too soon in space. The other passengers are still fast asleep in space. But Chris Pratt is wide awake in space.

Chris Pratt grows a beard in space. He befriends a robot bartender in space (played by Michael Sheen in space). But Chris Pratt is very bored in space. He longs for human contact in space. What’s a red-blooded male to do in space?

Jennifer Lawrence is also in space. She catches Chris Pratt’s eye in space. Doesn’t she look lovely in space? Chris Pratt is on the horns of a dilemma in space. But really he’s just got the horn in space. This is all starting to get a bit creepy in space.

Jennifer Lawrence is confused in space. Why is she now wide awake in space? At least Chris Pratt is here in space. He seems like a nice enough guy in space. Maybe they’ll get past second base in space?

Michael Sheen spills the beans in space. Which makes Jennifer Lawrence very angry in space. It seems there’s trouble in paradise in space. She’s seen Chris Pratt’s true colours in space. She punches him right in the face in space.

Jennifer Lawrence is very sad in space. She lets out an agonising scream in space. But no one is around to hear her scream in space. Only Chris Pratt is here in space. And she can’t stand the sight of Chris Pratt in space.

Jennifer Lawrence is still very angry in space. When will Chris Pratt take the hint in space? Or maybe he just needs to give her space in space? But space is the last thing she needs in space. Those dinosaurs were nothing next to a woman scorned in space.

Chris Pratt has made his bed in space. There’s no turning back the clock in space. But what if Jennifer Lawrence needs help in space? Perhaps he could come to her rescue in space. Chris Pratt could still save the day in space!

Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence are still in space. Everything has fallen neatly into place in space. They share a tender embrace in space. A happy ending is on the horizon in space. Which really does leave a sour taste in space.

Published 20 Dec 2016

Tags: Chris Pratt Jennifer Lawrence

Anticipation.

Titanic in space.

Enjoyment.

Titanic in space.

In Retrospect.

Titanic in space.

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