Serenity | Little White Lies

Seren­i­ty

27 Feb 2019 / Released: 01 Mar 2019

Two people, a man with dark curly hair and a woman with long blonde hair, standing on a night-time street.
Two people, a man with dark curly hair and a woman with long blonde hair, standing on a night-time street.
3

Anticipation.

Moby Dick meets Philip K Dick?

2

Enjoyment.

It’s a Dick pic alright.

2

In Retrospect.

The final nail in the McConaissance coffin.

LWLies inter­cepts a telecom­mu­ni­ca­tion between Matthew McConaugh­ey and his agent.

The fol­low­ing is a tran­script of an audio con­ver­sa­tion between the actor Matthew McConaugh­ey and his Hol­ly­wood tal­ent agent con­cern­ing the film Serenity.

Agent: Con­ny! Bub­by! How’s my favourite client?

McConaugh­ey: Uh-hmm.

Agent: Great. So, you know how you’re always talk­ing about want­i­ng to do anoth­er Chris Nolan movie? Well, I’ve got the next best thing! A fan-tas­tic script just came in for the new Avi­ron Pic­tures release – they did A Pri­vate War with Roz Pike. The stu­dio likes you for the lead.

McConaugh­ey: War movie?

Agent: Not exact­ly. There’s a lit­tle bit of back­sto­ry about a war – Iraq or some­where – but the part is a fish­ing boat cap­tain called Bak­er or John or John­ny or Dill or some­thing. I only skimmed through it. The script needs a sec­ond draft but I’m sure that’ll be looked at.

McConaugh­ey: Hrrm. So’ll need t’know how­ta han­dle a rod?

Agent: You could say that… It’s not real­ly about fish­ing though. It’s about the nature of exis­tence and how we’re all con­nect­ed, yada, yada, yada. Some­thing about a mur­der plot. Oh, and some­thing about a com­put­er game but that doesn’t real­ly seem impor­tant. Pret­ty high con­cept stuff. Aside from the boat scenes it’s most­ly just you dri­ving through corn­fields, star­ing bleary-eyed into the mid­dle dis­tance, stand­ing around with your shirt off – your usu­al repertoire.

McConaugh­ey: What’s the catch?

Agent: HA! See, I’ve always said you should nev­er have stopped doing com­e­dy but do you ever lis­ten… You know I ran into Adam McK­ay the oth­er day – he told me he’s just start­ed prep­ping his next movie about Jim­my Dean, you know, the sausage guy. Want me to men­tion you to him? You nev­er know, there could be anoth­er Oscar in it for you. Look what he did for Chris­tia– Oh, could you hold a sec Con­ny, I’ve got Woody on the oth­er line…

[…]

Agent: I swear, that Woody is such a card. Sor­ry hun, where were we?

McConaugh­ey: Wh’else’s in it?

Agent: Jason Clarke, Diane Lane and Dji­mon Houn­sou are all attached. Oh – you’re gonna love this – and Annie Hath­away! You two had such great chem­istry on Chris’ movie, remember?

McConaugh­ey: Uh-hmm. Director?

Agent: Steven Knight. He did that fun lit­tle movie Locke, with Tom Hardy? Didn’t see it myself but they say he’s very tal­ent­ed. And he’s British!

McConaugh­ey: Where’s is thang shootin’ anyway?

Agent: Mau­ri­tius. Six weeks. You can top up that gor­geous tan of yours!

McConaugh­ey: Uh-hmm. An’ what’s my cut?

Agent: Right. Well, it’s not McConais­sance’ mon­ey, but it’s a fair offer con­sid­er­ing, well, you know…

McConaugh­ey: Hrrm. Did Quentin ever get back t’yuh?

Agent: I’ve been mean­ing to talk to you about that. Now, his cast­ing agent didn’t say why exact­ly, but they end­ed up going in a dif­fer­ent direction…

McConaugh­ey: Leo again?

Agent: Uh-hmm.

[Tape ends]

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