‘We’ve all lost some­one at some point’ – Lulu Wang on The Farewell

How do you build an entire film upon a lie that you are not only liv­ing, but that you don’t real­ly con­done? This was the dilem­ma for Lulu Wang, a film­mak­er who has tak­en a life-chang­ing fab­ri­ca­tion and spun it into The Farewell, an auto­bi­o­graph­i­cal film about her can­cer-strick­en grand­moth­er who is none-the-wis­er thanks to her family’s deci­sion to keep her in the dark.

It’s an eth­i­cal matrix that rais­es ques­tions of moral­i­ty, but also chal­lenges cul­tur­al dif­fer­ences at a time when the world is in dire need of some empa­thy. ​“The pur­pose of the film is to explore how to approach dif­fer­ences with grace,” says Bei­jing-born Wang. ​“I think that we’re liv­ing in such polarised times right now that we often look at things in black-and-white. Peo­ple are so com­bat­ive – even with peo­ple that they love – and instead of ask­ing where the oth­er side is com­ing from, we imme­di­ate­ly attack as a way to defend ourselves.”

Wang and her par­ents migrat­ed to Mia­mi when she was six, leav­ing behind her grand­moth­er and remain­ing fam­i­ly. When news of the can­cer broke some six years ago, the choice to keep it a secret was reached under the Chi­nese belief that fear short­ens a person’s life rather than the ill­ness itself, a deci­sion that adult Wang strong­ly opposed at the time. ​“I still don’t think that it’s nec­es­sar­i­ly right,” she says. ​“But I’ve come to accept it and under­stand it more through the process of mak­ing this film.”

Wang’s on-screen sur­ro­gate, Bil­li, is played by Awk­wa­fi­na, a rap­per-turned-actor who has stolen scenes in the likes of Ocean’s 8 and Crazy Rich Asians but nev­er shoul­dered the weight of a dra­mat­ic lead. ​“At first I was look­ing at actress­es that had an intro­vert­ed per­spec­tive,” Wang says of her uncon­ven­tion­al cast­ing choice. ​“But I think that when you have some­one who’s nor­mal­ly so extro­vert­ed, so fun­ny and strong, that when they break, there’s some­thing even more heart­break­ing about it.”

It’s a rev­e­la­to­ry per­for­mance from Awk­wa­fi­na, who not only deliv­ers whole chunks of the film in Man­darin (she was born and raised in New York), but also the film’s heav­ier, more gut­tur­al moments with real assur­ance. ​“She didn’t know if she would be able to cry – she’d tried to cry in movies before and it had nev­er hap­pened,” Wang recalls. ​“But once she was on set, she was real­ly able to tap into that sense of loss. We’ve all lost some­one at some point.”

Wang’s ded­i­ca­tion to her fam­i­ly through her sto­ry­telling is what makes The Farewell so remark­able, and though the expe­ri­ence has been deeply upset­ting, she has devel­oped an unex­pect­ed sense of grat­i­tude for the last few years. ​“The lie has allowed me to make this film, allowed me to go back home for three months and spend time with my grand­ma. I haven’t spent that kind of time with her since I was a lit­tle kid,” she says. ​“I don’t think that she ever imag­ined in her life­time that she’d be able to see me do what I do. In many ways the lie has been a huge gift for all of us.”

The Farewell receives its UK pre­mière at Sun­dance Lon­don on 1 June. For more info vis­it pic​ture​hous​es​.com