The Last Stand

A lot has hap­pened in the life of Arnold Schwarzeneg­ger in the decade since his last star­ring role in Ter­mi­na­tor 3: Rise Of The Machines. Now, after con­sec­u­tive false starts in the form of strong­man pack­age hol­i­day The Expend­ables and its high blood-pres­sure sequel, the man with the bill­board-bust­ing moniker is back to resume his place at the head of the action table.

He plays Ray Owens, a for­mer LAPD cow­boy-turned-bor­der­town Sher­iff who’s unwit­ting­ly about to become the US government’s last line of defense against a high-pro­file fugi­tive. After an awk­ward pre­am­ble in which Arnie engages the locals of Som­mer­ton Junc­tion in some whole­some and whol­ly uncon­vinc­ing smalltalk, we jump cut to a dar­ing raid on an FBI pris­on­er con­voy that puts play­boy car­tel boss Gabriel Cortez (Eduar­do Nor­ie­ga) on a col­li­sion course with sweet lady justice.

Hav­ing been ordered to stay the hell out of the way and let the FBI clean up their own mess by For­est Whitaker’s crotch­ety senior agent, Owens does the obvi­ous thing by throw­ing togeth­er a squad of trust­ed (and some not so trust­ed) peace­keep­ers – Jaimie Alexan­der, Luis Guzmán, John­ny Knoxville, Rodri­go San­toro and Zach Gil­ford – before tool­ing up and bed­ding down for a good hon­est standoff.

Schwarzeneg­ger might not be the one-man bat­tal­ion he once was, but he’s not just here to stick out his chest and act tough while the sup­port­ing play­ers have all the fun. This is his show all the way. He’s kept him­self in good shape dur­ing his break from act­ing and, though a lit­tle off the pace these days, it’s to his cred­it that this slow­er, cud­dlier, have-a-go-hero Arnie man­ages to hold his own in a film that boasts dis­tract­ing­ly impres­sive set pieces and high-octane com­bat in spades. His meth­ods may be more prag­mat­ic, the wise­cracks and pay­offs less punchy, but he still knows how to get the job done.

If this is to be the start of the Schwarzeneg­ger resur­gence (which it very much looks like it is), then save a foot­note for South Kore­an direc­tor Kim Jee-woon, who gives his lead­ing man all the best lines and the biggest toys in the sand­box while ensur­ing that The Last Stand is always more than an idle throwback.

With Stallone’s Bul­let To The Head and John McClane’s Russ­ian jol­ly forth­com­ing, fans of ​’80s action cin­e­ma have nev­er had it so good. Not in this cen­tu­ry. And yet The Last Stand isn’t quite the emphat­ic come­back many were hop­ing for. It ticks all the right box­es, but ulti­mate­ly shares more with your aver­age sec­ond-string Arnie vehi­cle (see: True Lies, Raw Deal, Red Heat) than any of his most icon­ic films.

Of course, the wel­come home ban­ners obscure an incon­ve­nient truth, that Schwarzenegger’s self-imposed hia­tus came at a time when his bank­a­bil­i­ty was at its low­est ebb. It’s not sim­ply a case of pick­ing up where he left off. In many ways he still has a lot left to prove. Who bet­ter though to fill the Arnie-shaped hole left in Hollywood’s heart than Arnie him­self? The man who has made a hob­by out of self-rein­ven­tion, for whom fail­ure has nev­er been an option.

Dis­senters will argue that, at 65, Schwarzeneg­ger no longer has what it takes to car­ry a $30 mil­lion block­buster, let alone anoth­er fran­chise install­ment, which if reports are to be believed we may not have to wait long for. Try telling him that.