Into the Woods

[To the tune of ​‘Belle’ from Beau­ty and the Beast]

Fairy tales, such a tired genre
Every film, like the one before
Fairy tales, full of worn-out clichés
It’s time to say… Goodbye

There goes the witch wicked and cru­el like always
The same foul hag we know too well
Every char­ac­ter the same, unpro­gres­sive and mun­dane
And the songs all sound the same…

Look there he goes that’s John­ny Depp no ques­tion
In pan­to wolf garb can’t you tell?
Nev­er dull but still quite bad
Cause his car­toon schtick’s old hat
Still at least he’s gone before too long that Depp

Good­bye!
So long!
Can we go home now?
Good­bye!
So long!
We’ve had enough
Our pain, right now,
Is so inten­sive
There must be more to this insipid tripe!

Look there she goes that girl is so famil­iar
It’s Anna Kendrick all is well
With a Cin­derel­la look
That’s more stage than sto­ry­book
Fin­gers crossed she’ll be the one to break the spell

Oh! Isn’t this amaz­ing?
It’s our favourite part because you’ll see
Here’s where she meets Prince Charm­ing
But we won’t dis­cov­er if he’s straight until act three

Now it’s no won­der this was made by Dis­ney
These films are such an easy sell
But behind its safe façade
Twist­ed plea­sures to be had
Very dif­fer­ent from the usu­al fluff
It’s noth­ing like their usu­al stuff
Yes dif­fer­ent from the usu­al fluff, hurrah!

Right from the moment when Chris Pine starts splash­ing
Bare-chest­ed by a water­fall
In this film there’s only he
Who’s as camp as camp can be
Did we men­tion he can sing a bit as well?

Look there, he goes, him off the tel­ly
It’s James, Cor­den, oh he’s quite good!
There’s more, to come, you won’t believe it
This is such a fun, dark, weird, enchant­i­ng film
There’s so much more to this than meets the eye!
Turns out it’s not just some insipid tripe!

Look here’s the deal it’s bet­ter than expect­ed
We’re not too stub­born to admit
It’s a pity and a sin, the songs are spread so thin
But this real­ly is a joy­ous film
A delight­ful and sur­pris­ing film
It real­ly is a joy­ous film
Sond­heim!