You Hurt My Feelings review – slight but charming… | Little White Lies

You Hurt My Feel­ings review – slight but charm­ing mar­i­tal comedy

25 Jul 2023 / Released: 28 Jul 2023

Woman seated at bar, contemplating with glass of wine in hand, atmospheric lighting creates warm, intimate mood.
Woman seated at bar, contemplating with glass of wine in hand, atmospheric lighting creates warm, intimate mood.
4

Anticipation.

Holofcener is an underrated delight.

4

Enjoyment.

Great chemistry between Louis-Dreyfus and Menzies.

3

In Retrospect.

A lovely, if slightly lacking, relationship dramedy.

Nicole Holofcener reteams with Julia Louis-Drey­fus for a gen­tle com­e­dy about a writer who dis­cov­ers her hus­band does­n’t like her work.

Writ­ing can be a lone­ly pur­suit, and authors must often rely on those clos­est to them for sup­port and feed­back as they attempt to nav­i­gate the process of con­struct­ing a sto­ry. So it goes for Beth (Julia Louie-Drey­fus), a nov­el­ist who has just fin­ished her sec­ond book – a fol­low-up to her rea­son­ably suc­cess­ful mem­oir. She has what she believes to be a good mar­riage ther­a­pist hus­band Don (Tobias Men­zies), until she over­hears him crit­i­cis­ing her new nov­el to her broth­er-in-law Mark (Ari­an Moayed). Dev­as­tat­ed by what she per­ceives as an emo­tion­al betray­al, Beth turns to her sis­ter Sarah (Michaela Watkins) for advice about how she should proceed.

Holofcener has built a career out of craft­ing inti­mate rela­tion­ship stud­ies (cen­tered, more or less, on the white mid­dle class) and it’s worth acknowl­edg­ing as much if only to indi­cate that it’s remark­able she man­ages to cre­ate such rich char­ac­ters with­in the frame­work. Per­haps it’s a case of write what you know’ being gen­uine­ly good advice, but at any rate, her wry script is pop­u­lat­ed with peo­ple who feel flawed but lived-in and famil­iar. Louie-Drey­fus and Men­zies have a delight­ful report, to the extent that when their son Elliott (Owen Teague) accus­es them of being code­pen­dent, it’s easy to under­stand where he’s com­ing from.

Elliott also tells his moth­er that she should have been less sup­port­ive of him when he was younger, as her unwa­ver­ing pos­i­tiv­i­ty gave him an inflat­ed sense of his own tal­ent. This par­ent­ing dilem­ma harkens back to Beth and Don’s ongo­ing argu­ment about him not lik­ing her work, and the age-old ques­tion of how hon­est we should be with our loved ones when it comes to their insecurities.

It’s a small but per­fect­ly formed com­e­dy of man­ners, with Men­zies par­tic­u­lar­ly great as a ther­a­pist who finds him­self unable to care about the lives of his patients. Although a sub­plot involv­ing Beth’s sis­ter and broth­er-in-law weighs the script down (despite the always charm­ing Ari­an Moayed) it’s a sweet, slight film about the nag­ging wor­ry at the back of every artist’s head: they’re actu­al­ly just a mediocre tal­ent, being polite­ly humoured by their friends and family.

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